Omegle: I don’t understand nutrition, but I know what cream is!

I’m pretty sure I’ve mentioned before (and probably linked to it) that I sometimes go on Omegle and find really really really terrible conversation partners. And then I share it with friends because it helps my process it. This is one of those.

(tw: so much fat hatred, ableist slurs specifically the r-word, food, medical stuff, sexism)

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You both like socal.

Stranger: hi
Stranger: m

You: Hey
You: What’s up?

Stranger: nothing much
Stranger: how about u?

You: Just having some Oreos

Stranger: the stroke cookie
Stranger: xD

You: the what?

Stranger: the cookie that gives people stroke

You: I’m not getting the reference

Stranger: oh i guess you don’t know then
Stranger: like some years ago
Stranger: people who ate too much oreos got stroke
Stranger: since that whtie creme in the middle is so fattening *(I can find no cites for this)*

You: You don’t know what causes a stroke, do you?

Stranger: oreos do

You: It’s caused by a blood clot in the brain, not by cholesterol *(Looking it up, that’s not the only thing that can cause a stroke)*

Stranger: fattening isn’t cholesterol
Stranger: lol
Stranger: its the sugar in that cream *(wut? Yes, sugar can cause fat, because it’s excess calories, but that doesn’t make sense)*
Stranger: lol
Stranger: ooo BUSTED for trying to act smart
Stranger: lol

You: And they have no cholesterol
You: and only 7g of fat

Stranger: sugar in itself has no cholestrol *(Well, no shit. Only animal fat has cholesterol)*

You: and only 13g of sugar

Stranger: sugar eaten with other food is how people get cholestrol *(uh… sort of? http://www.webmd.com/heart-disease/news/20100420/high-sugar-diet-linked-lower-good-cholesterol)*

Stranger: 7g of fat…. and yet 13g of sugar *(I don’t even know where to start with this. Does he think that we need everything in the same amounts?)*
Stranger: lol
Stranger: DAMN
Stranger: STROKE
Stranger: put that cookie down fattie
Stranger: DOWN

You: 21g of carbs (which includes the sugar) is 7% of your dv

Stranger: Put that cookie down and type with 2 hands *(Pretty sure I was already typing faster than him)*
Stranger: yeah and diet coke has 0 calories too right? *(I think that’s the point of diet drinks???)*
Stranger: xD
Stranger: lol

You: I don’t drink soda

Stranger: you better not
Stranger: now put the cookie down

You: Dude, you don’t make sense
You: Or understand science
You: I weigh about 135 pounds *(Okay, I don’t actually know what I weigh. I don’t weigh myself often, but I vary between 135 – 146)*

Stranger: umm you are just reading the nutrition lable on the back of a oreo cookie
Stranger: and u want to talk about science?
Stranger: LOL
Stranger: #1 science has nothing to do with ingredients…. it’s more cooking *(And there’s no science is cooking? And food companies aren’t constantly using science to develop new products – either for taste or nutrition?)*

You: You said the cream is so fattening it causd strokes, but then said it was the sugar
You: So make up your mind

Stranger: #2 Taking too much sugar makes you a diabtes patient ( STROKE ) *(Diabetes is a risk factor of strokes, but so are lots of things)*

You: Strokes are not related to diabetes *(Okay, I was wrong)*

Stranger: #3 you telling me all u want about don’t really say much on the internet
Stranger: lol
Stranger: LOL

You: And eating sugar doesn’t cause diabetes

Stranger: yes it does you retard *(Cite?)*

You: Nope
You: It’s caused by your body not producing the right amount of insulin

Stranger: do you even know how to make cream?

You: You beat unpasterized milk

Stranger: i mean seriously have u ever even baked a cake before? *(Not sure how those two relate. Cake doesn’t require cream.)*

You: Duh
You: Yup

Stranger: lol
Stranger: it’s milk, egg, sugar *(He thinks that’s how you make cream.)*

You: Of course the cream in Oreos isn’t actually creme

Stranger: err rdurr drrr
Stranger: you can drink unpasterized milk retard
Stranger: or else you’ll just be drinking a bucket full of bacterria
Stranger: you can’t~

You: So?

Stranger: LOL
Stranger: haha

You: Who said anything about drinking it

Stranger: clearly you have never baked a cake before

You: Yeah I have

Stranger: making cream out of unpasterized milk
Stranger: that was GRAND

You: I was thinking butter

Stranger: you sir made my day

You: Cream is seperated out of the milk

Stranger: 2 THUMBS UP
Stranger: lol seperated hahahhaha

You: I’m not a dairy farmer

Stranger: where are you coming up with this stuff *(I dunno, the definition of cream?)*
Stranger: lol

You: I don’t need to know this stuff
You: I go buy food in the store

Stranger: right so somehow cream just gets sweetened out of no reason *(Cream is not sweetened, except for the natural lactose)*

You: What?

Stranger: next you’ll tell me diet coke is good for u
Stranger: HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH
Stranger: FATTY LET GO OF THE COOKIE

You: So where do you think cream comes from?

Stranger: it’s for your own good
Stranger: milk,egg, sugar
Stranger: learn 2 read

You: There’s no eggs in cream
You: or sugar

Stranger: …… wow r u that dense?
Stranger: so you milk liquid is going to formed into a cream by what?

You: I know what the definition of words are

Stranger: so you think~

You: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cream

Stranger: LOL WIKIPEDIA FTW *(Because an encyclopedia with cites isn’t good enough? FFS, this isn’t even a technical thing where a peer-edited encyclopedia would be inaccurate)*

You: Cream comes out of the cow

Stranger: OMG LOLLLLLLLLLLLL
Stranger: hahahahahhahaha

You: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/cream

Stranger: you are so stupid aren’t u?

You: One of us is, pretty sure it’s not me

Stranger: go google “how to make whip cream”
Stranger: clearly you don’t understand the meaning of cream

You: You add sugar to cream and beat the hell out of it
You: Since I just looked it up, yeah I do

Stranger: you add sugar to CREAM to make CREAM? *(Usually whipped cream is sweetened, yes)*
Stranger: LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
Stranger: hHAHHAHAHAHAHAH
HAH
Stranger: I CAN’T STOP
Stranger: AH
Stranger: THIS IS TOO FUNNY
Stranger: LOL

You: cream: “the fatty part of milk, which rises to the surface when the liquid is allowed to stand unless homogenized. ”

Stranger: hey fatty

You: Dude, I’m 135 lbs

Stranger: just let go of the cookie
Stranger: it’s really for ur own good
Stranger: being 5′ and 135 isn’t necessary the ideal weight fatty *(This is where I point out the weight and health are not linked – No, I’m not the healthiest. Lots of people heavier than me are healthier, because they eat better and get exercise. Go look up Healthy at Every Size for more information)*
Stranger: so stop telling me ur 135 bull shit
Stranger: lol

You: I’m 5’5″

Stranger: oh wait…. r u a girl?

You: I don’t see how my gender matters

Stranger: well i think that’s why u r so sensitive

You: Or it could be that you’re stupid

Stranger: when i told u to put the cookie down
Stranger: and you are being like this emo biatch *(I haven’t even been emotional. Mostly baffled by his stupidity)*
Stranger: first saying understand science
Stranger: then telling me you don’t have to know all that shit *(Strangely enough, **no**, I don’t need to know everything about everything. I am more than willing to admit when I’m wrong, because I realize I don’t know everything)*

You: Right, because *I’m* the one insulting people

Stranger: but but
Stranger: it was too funny *(And that’s a reason to call someone a retard? When they’re actually correct, and providing cites to prove it?)*
Stranger: I am sorry

You: Yeah, totally believe you

Stranger: no i really am

You: Uh-huh, sure

Stranger: one thing i really don’t like doing is hurting girl’s feelings *(Oh, I see! Now that you think you’re insulting someone you could have sex with, your **whole** tune changes!)*

You: Now go look up what cream is
You: I’m not a girl

Stranger: oh
Stranger: then damn u fatty
Stranger: why u so stupid

You: How old are you?

Stranger: 25

You: I’m 32

Stranger: then how come u r so stupid?
Stranger: oh wait sorry

You: I’m not the one that doesn’t know where cream comes from

Stranger: i forgot different regions have different education *(What?)*

You: Or thinks that sugar causes diabetes

Stranger: seriously just go youtube/google how to make whip cream *(It came up when I looked up cream… And it’s what I thought)*
Stranger: clearly you have no understanding the difference between the cream from a cow and the cream that’s inside that oreo
Stranger: like u r so dense
Stranger: it’s making me laugh so hard

You: The cream in an Oreo isn’t whipped cream

Stranger: and i can’t stop laughing
Stranger: no it isn’t

You: Or really in any way a milk product

Stranger: it some artifical shit
Stranger: that we don’t know what it’s made from
Stranger: like that sweet and low shit

You: Or if you look at the ingredient list you know exactly what it’s made from *(It doesn’t divide the cookie and creme lists, but I think it’s mostly oil, corn syrup, and sugar)*

Stranger: people THINK it’s sugar
Stranger: but it ain’t sugar bro
Stranger: just telling u heads up

You: I rarely use sweeteners, but if I do I use real sugar

Stranger: oh yes OREO the manufacturer themselves is going to tell u exactly what they put in right? *(wut?)*

You: Yes, because they’re required to by the FDA

Stranger: plz don’t tell me you think equal is real sugar
Stranger: LOL

You: I use the package labelled SUGAR

Stranger: no FDA is just bunch of bull shit
Stranger: that passed cows that were full diseases in what was it? 2009?

You: So why don’t you go grow your own food and live off the grid

Stranger: where it killed nearly 200 people with the madcow disease? *(Cite?)*
Stranger: right that FDA huh?
Stranger: my parents grow their own veggies *(Not really the same thing as not relying on food manufacturers…)*

You: There were 4 cases in the US
You: and 176 cases in Britain

Stranger: sadly it’s really expensive to get hold of a real sugar cane
Stranger: hence they make all that rare shit
Stranger: lol @ 4 cases

You: You can make sugar from other things

Stranger: yeah like 4 cases a day / state
Stranger: LOL

You: like potatoes *(Okay, possibly not. But they do have carbs in them…)*

Stranger: r u like stupid?
Stranger: i am seriously asking u this now

You: https://web.archive.org/web/20120721234746/http://www.cjd.ed.ac.uk/vcjdworld.htm *(Cite on the 4 cases of mad cow disease)*

Stranger: sugar from a potatoe *(Okay, I’m not a food scientist!)*
Stranger: when you want real sugar
Stranger: which can only come out of a sugar cane
Stranger: harvested in Hawaii
Stranger: or other really humid areas
Stranger: yeah……. seriously

You: What about sugar beets? *(Also, sorghum, date palm, and sugar maple – cite: http://www.food-info.net/uk/products/sugar/sources.htm )*

Stranger: i understand now why my parents told me to stay in school when i wanted to drop out

You: And how many degrees do you have?

Stranger: so this is what becomes of a man who’s 32 and didn’t learn jack shit

You: I know how to research stuff and provide cites

Stranger: just undergrad and master is computer programming

You: Which you have yet to do for any of your claims
You: Oh that explains it

Stranger: oh so just you googling and typing in cream *(When you have world of information at your fingertips, it’s okay to use it. And I went straight to wikipedia and the dictionary.)*

You: All computer grads are assholes

Stranger: is “research”?
Stranger: LOL
Stranger: HAHHAHAHAHAHHAA
Stranger: way to go mr

You: So where’s your cite on how many people in the US got mod cow disease?
You: ~mad

Stranger: you don’t even know the difference between the cream of a cow and the cream inside of a oreo

You: One is made of milk, one is not

Stranger: please don’t go around telling people that ok? *(No idea what he’s referring to)*

You: Duuuuuuuhhhhh

Stranger: HAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA
Stranger: HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA
Stranger: LOL
Stranger: this guy
Stranger: ok now seriously

You: I’m not a guy

Stranger: how old r u?

You: 32

Stranger: you for reals?

You: Yup

Stranger: you not like 18 who just got out of high school
Stranger: who’s high on meth?

You: I’m 32. I graduated high school in 2000. I have my own apartment where I live with my pet rats who I spoil rotten. I don’t smoke or do drugs.

Stranger: damn
Stranger: i mean i don’t know what to say
Stranger: like….. umm…
You: You could try shutting up

Stranger: put the cookie down firsT?

You: That’s all you’ve got?
You: You’re pathetic
You: Ta

You have disconnected.

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